Missy Moos

I want you to close your eyes for a second and imagine the length of South Terrace in Fremantle. I can wait. This blog is an immersive experience. Now open your eyes.

If you're not a complete moron like me you probably said, "Dude, it's fricken long. If I were you I'd park somewhere close to where you're trying to get to. And also, what is that heavenly scent?"
Me- "That's the new Issay Miyake, L'eau Bleu d'Issay."
You- "That's the way a man should smell- masculine vitality"
Me- "Wait... actually, I forgot to put it on this morning."

The upshot of all this is that, being afraid of the people in Fremantle, I rarely venture down to the Badlands. I figured that South Terrace was that bit with the pubs and stuff. I didn't realise that if we parked down one end of it, it would be an EPIC journey to make it to Missy Moos at the EXTREME other end. Google Maps tells me it was 2.2km. But Google Maps is a FRICKEN LIAR. It was extreme.

By the time we finally finished our journey, it would take a damn good burger to improve my mood.

The Place

Surrounded by very little, designed to get the bare minimum of foot traffic and with pleasant views of  an industrial fishmongers, Missy Moos stands out. Pink and black would be the motif for the burger adventure we had travelled so far to attend. Despite its distance from the main strip, there were a large number of people in their twenties and thirties making the effort to get here for lunch. Our hopes were raised that they might actually make decent burgers.

Inside is very pleasant. Comfortable seating and a cool vibe. If I started a burger bar, would I paint it pink and black and name my burgers things like, "The Cow Jumped Over the Moon" and "Polly Put the Kettle On?" No, I wouldn't. Will I give this place credit for at least making it look interesting, unlike, say, Flipside? Yeah, I will.

The Burger

Looking over the options, we were pleasantly surprised. Would we go with "Tom, Tom the Piper's Son" which had the BBQ sauce and crispy bacon? Or the "Jack and Jill" with avocado and caramelised onion?

But we both kept coming back to the same place. And because neither would back down, we both ordered the same thing- "The Cow Jumped Over the Moon". Beef, blue cheese, prosciutto, baby spinach, tomato relish. That sounded wonderful. It served only to raise our hopes.

Then the burgers arrived

And they were absolutely amazing.

Probably the best burger I have eaten since we've been doing this silliness.The beef patty was moist and seasoned. Not too massive, but great bun coverage (I set these single entendres up just for you guys- do what you will with them). It was BEAUTIFULLY balanced, with the quality of ingredients shining through. The blue cheese could have been a difficult ingredient to introduce without overpowering the burger. It was wonderful. Just enough to add a tang and leave you wanting more, it blended perfectly with the rich tomato relish. Just...wow.

The bun wasn't flashy, but I liked that. It held together all the way. It wasn't too dense. It wasn't too thick. The well-sized bun made for a good sized burger. This was a burger that you could hold in your hands and enjoy, without looking like a slob.

I keep returning to this theme of balance, but this was a wonderfully balanced burger. Everything in the right proportion to let the quality ingredients speak for themselves. A lesson that Jus could learn from.

The Chips

Quality, hand-cut chips. About the level of a Flipside or Jus but not quite up to the Burger Bistro level of wonderfulness. Another unfortunate proponent of the "less is more" style of foolish chippery. I'm going to keep saying it- chips are cheap. Throw a few more on there.

The Value

We paid $12 each for a burger containing quality prosciutto, blue cheese, relish and lots and lots of love. In burger joints around Perth, that's very, very good value. Throw in a helping of chips and some old-school softies and you're in and out with one of the best burger meals in Perth for under $20.

Overall

Thoroughly unexpected. Although seeing the Urbanspoon rating, it looks like we're a little late to the party. To the 10% of you contrarian, tasteless barbarians who didn't "like" this place, take a good long hard look at yourself. This place is wonderful. The whimsical childish theme seemed ridiculous on first entry, but on leaving we too were filled with an infantile glee at having experienced something so simple yet wonderful. We were also filled with burger. Oh, what burger.

I couldn't be happier to award Missy Moos the Best Burger Place in Perth and Surrounds That We Have Tried So Far On Our Burger Blog. 

Burger (/10) 9
Chips (/5) 3
Value (/5) 4.5

Overall (/20) 16.5


Chris' View:

Some things should be long, kisses goodnight, gin and tonics, and other things should not be so long, like walks down South Tce to get a burger. Long would've been ok I think I actually was doing a qualifier for the Hawaiian Iron Man or something. When they say South Tce, don't think Norfolk think north Rockingham. That is the worst thing I have to say about Missy Moos! 

The Place

Small and tucked away from....well everything, with a killer view of the fish factory you will find Missy Moos next door to a pub at the extreme far end of South Tce.

Menu's chalked on the walls, simple tables and chairs its not much to look at but its fun and friendly, oh and you can pop into said pub over the road and grab a bevvy for while you wait......awesome!

The Burger

As you may know the prerequisite for a great burger is bacon and cheese, well it is in my world. The list was impressive, chicken burgers, vego options, and of course real burgers, you know the ones with meat in them. All with delightful names referring to nursery rhymes. The Cow Jumped Over The Moon was to be mine, an upmarket version of my standard fare, the bacon was prosciutto, the cheese was blue, they patty homemade. This was shaping up to be a good burger, it would all come down to how it came out.

Good sized bun, patty to the edges, no height troubles, this baby looks the goods. The first bite set me up for what I know call burger perfection, burgertopia if you will. Each ingredient was present in a generous yet not over powering quantity, cooked perfectly. This my friends was worth the walk, hell I'd crawl over broken glass for one of these puppies.

The Chips

Good quality, cooked well, possibly a little light on in the generosity department, but satisfying. Have had better but they were not why we were there......

The Value

So for $12 you got a damn great burger, throw in chips and a drink for change out of $20 and that kids is what you call great value for money, please Missy Moos won't you open a branch in Guildford!!!!

Overall

Why are you still here reading this crap!!??? Get in your car and get your @ss down to Missy Moos and taste what I am calling the BEST BURGER yet.

Burger (/10) 9

Chips (/5) 3.5

Value (/5)4.5

Overall (/20) 17

Next Time

It's happened. I've already been back to Jus. Flying solo, a lone wolf out to investigate the burger that got away. It's a tale of hardship and hope. I trust you'll stick around. And while you're around, vote in the new poll. Let us know how wrong we are.

Missy Moos can be found at 400 South Terrace, South Fremantle. I would park nearby, if I was you.